Disappointment

I call it disappointment, because while I recently found out I was pregnant, I almost immediately lost the baby. I hadn't even truly believed that it was real before it was no longer so. I haven't cried, well not much, but I did tear up when I had to tell my husband that it appeared that Daddyhood was not lurking around the corner. I knew he would be devastated, although he took it well.

So here I am, not pregnant, but trying to keep positive and telling myself that overall things are good, I can apparently get pregnant, contrary to what the doctors have told me so far. Hormone therapy is not something that I look forward to. But that is battling the fear that I will begin a vicious cycle of emotionally and physically draining pregnancies and miscarriages, because that is in fact common with my condition, endometriosis.

So I keep trudging through day to day, noticing how EVERYone seems to be pregnant or have babies, and I say, that WILL be me one day, it will. And I hope that I am right...